Hi everyone, have been on holiday again and now returned. Dissapointed to see no members joined the group. I will shortly post some of my verses for your perusal. I like silly verses such as Pam Eyres wrote. I also like serious stuff when I am in the mood. So if anyone has written anything or has a favourite please feel free to post it and lets get this group off the ground.

Pam Eyres eh?
How about this then.......



Oh I wish I’d Looked After My Hair

Oh I wish I’d looked after my hair
It was gone long before it was there
As a newly born shoot
I was bald as a coot
And my story with you now I share

In my youth I had locks long and furry
And a moustache like……. Edwina Curry
So proud I’d declare
That my one pubic hair
Could be stretched from Crowland to Surrey

Well I’ve always hated the ads
On TV, shampoo for the lads????
For Vosene and others
Dominican brothers
Why bother, it’s only for Dads

The marketing boys were enthralled
Yet I couldn’t help being appalled
When marked on their ware
This is “For Greasy Hair”
Who would want that unless they were bald?

The instructions I followed a treat
Wash your hair with shampoo, rinse, repeat
But the problem you see
Was one of degree
When to stop? When to sleep? When to eat?

So my hair it eventually thinned
To the point where my comb has been binned
But I do now wear wigs
Made from nose hair and twigs
Which I bought in the town that we twinned.

And so when I'm laid down to rest
Please remember a final bequest
I would like my old rug
Removed from this mug
To be used by the birds for a nest.


Noam Bishon

a very funny poem..........well done

I couldn't possible repeat the few I know on this web site!

Well, thank you Lion Andy
Your comments, sweet as candy
You’re such a star
That’s what you are
Like Brassneck from the Dandy!

noam bishon wrote:
Well, thank you Lion Andy
Your comments, sweet as candy
You’re such a star
That’s what you are
Like Brassneck from the Dandy!


not sure who brassneck is .........i will google him to find out

tap tap tap tap hit return................a robot!

cheeky devil

cheeky devil

I was thinking of doing something that ended with this....

....“Like ugly Plug from the Beano.”

But I couldn’t think of 2 more appropriate words that rhymed.

I enjoyed your poem very much Noam. Years ago, when I was pregnant with my first child I couldn't sleep one night as a poem kept forming in my head and wouldn't let go. I had to get up and write it all down. In the morning I found what I had written and was amazed. It was a Pam Ayres type poem all about a policeman who had been run down on the central reservation on the M1! Nothing like that has happened since although I have penned many a ditty school productions etc.

Well that was very kind of you
To say those lovely things
And so I write a verse to do
With names and stranger things

By some strange fate we get our names
From parents when they’re driven
I understand their thinking
When a town or place is given

For Chelsea, Lynn or India
Re-found like treasure trove
But your folks took the biscuit
When they called you Barbersdrove

Could have been worse Barbersdrove you could have lived down Plank drove!

Get off my settee

It’s high time you got off that sofa
Old Lazarus has nothing on you
You make like you’re dead in the mornings,
You make like you’re dead, evenings too….
Only twice do I notice you breathing
One’s when you want to be fed
The other’s at twenty past midnight
When you finally crawl into bed

So get yourself down to the Job Shop
Accept what they offer you please
Be it Chair of a Board of Directors
Or Tescos, slicing the cheese.
The status, it’s not that important
Your wages would help pay the costs
Of repairing the settee you live on
The one in which Tiddles got lost

Now I’m not going to say that you’re idle
That’s too kind, too gentle, too tame
You’re the most idle person in Crowland
You’d put Rip Van Winkle to shame
So let’s have a fresh new beginning
Forty years have you lain there encamped
You’ve been parked for so long on that sofa
I’m surprised that we’ve not had it clamped

Our bank account’s not got much money
The piggy bank’s seen better days…..
So your days on that sofa are numbered
From now on, you’ll be mending your ways
But if the bailiffs come knocking
Remember to hide the TV
I can’t live without me Eastenders
But I’ll manage without the settee

Noam Bishon